the oscars are tonight.
i hate the oscars.
this year's academy awards mark a first for me, however, as i have somehow not seen a single nominee.
wait, i just now looked over the list, and i have actually seen one. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. adored every frame of that particular picture. looking down the list, though, i have not seen sideways, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, spiderman 2, the aviator, finding neverland, shrek 2, ray, hotel rwanda, etc.
i can not explain why i have not seen all these films. i love films. i was as close to a film major as the university of Wisconsin would allow. i think i just fell out of love with the theater-going experience. why? most likely because i hate people. people laugh at the wrong spots or too often, they talk throughout, they chew their popcorn loudly, and they spill their jawbreakers (this only applies to the people sitting in the very back, so that the candy rolls down the length of the theater).
also, people's deplorable taste in entertainment is responsible for my favorite tv show, Arrested Development, getting canceled recently. i'm being a little dramatic, perhaps, but i hate americans for watching enough "nick and jessica" to call for another season while letting my show (the first season of which forced me to rank it above Seinfeld and the Simpsons) die a slow death (on america's most evil network no less).
so, in review, i don't like people. i did play darts with some people on friday night, and i somehow was channeling the spirit of, um, some all-time great dart person, if such a thing exists. i hit a triple 20 on my first dart, a triple 19 on my second dart, and an 18 on my third. about 8 turns later, a stepped up to the line needing only the three bull's eyes (bullseyes?). with my first dart, i hit the double bull's eye. wait...dammit. bullseye? a ha! the good folks at dictionary dot com say "bull's eye."
so, i need 3 of them. the first dart... unbelievable. double bull's eye.
now, for the conclusion of this story, allow me to represent a dart board with a "]" symbol. the "]" is a profile shot of the dart board, and we'll use the "-" symbol to represent a dart. so, with the first throw, i have the following: ]-
the second dart? i don't know, i missed. but the third dart... the third dart was thrown, and i have never before seen this, but what i ended up with was:
]--
the third dart hit the very back of the first dart and just stuck in there.
it was, if i may say so, the Shit.
nathan filibustered at 2:22:00 PM
so...
a while back when i was in college, about [edited for temporal vanity] years ago, my buddy kaukauna and i were hanging out in the basement of a house party in ft. collins, colorado. side note: if people could accrue random lifetime stats, i'd love to see my total hours logged in basements at house parties.
anyway, we're enjoying one of our many fat tire beers from our $5 plastic cups, sitting on a couch, people-watching. which is, of course, a nice way of saying that we were ogling college chicks from the oft-underrated vantage point of 3 and a half feet off the ground. kaukauna and i were deep in conversation, most likely discussing alchemical symbolism in the early works of Faust or, now that i think about it, whether or not that red-head in the far corner would let us count her every freckle if we offered her enough fat tire.
after a while, some guy sat down next to us on the couch and tried awkwardly to start a conversation. kaukauna and i did a mental eye roll and, in the grand tradition of dumb male primates, tried to cut him out of the conversation by bringing up subjects that only the two of us could speak intelligently upon. unfortunately, this did not register with our maladroit couch mate, and he thought we were just bringing up subjects that he could, um, speak upon.
so after a while his bladder deceived him and he left us to our own devices, at which point kaukauna and i turned to each other and decided that there was something amiss about this whole party. it wasn't just this guy on the couch... something far more sinister was making its presence known, however subconsciously. we couldn't put our finger on it.
"i feel like i'm in milwaukee," kaukauna said.
i agreed. this unsettling sense of our being in a social netherworld was as plain as the tribal tattoo on 85% of the basement's other male inhabitants.
by that time, our wayward peer (or pee-er) had reclaimed the far left cushion of our couch, and wasted no time before launching another get-to-know-you assault upon our otherwise pedantic conversation [about hot college co-eds and the scandalous tailoring of today's womens jeans].
"so... you guys been here a while?"
kaukauna, god bless him, gives up and turns to the guy and answers his question with another question, just to speed things along: "so, you go to school at [Colorado] State?"
"actually, i'm from milwaukee."
the above anecdote is absolutely true save for the exact percentage of men with tribal tattoos and some slight paraphrasing, which i attribute to the fat tire. what's really weird is that, at that same party about an hour or so later (again, fat tire may have been distorting my sense of time), we had ourselves a truly amazing small world story, which i will relate to you sometime soon, provided you ever read my blog again after this story.
anyway, kaukauna's coming to visit me in miami this weekend.
should be a story.
...............................
as an added bonus, here's a picture of kaukauna, in his standard-issue golf shirt, with niki, stacy, and dougie, about a day after dougie [edited for dougie's parents] did not cut the living hell out of his knee in a fountain outside the spectacular las vegas MGM Grand Hotel and Casino.
nathan filibustered at 9:09:00 PM
ok ok, i'll update later.
but i'm busy.
until "later," here's a shot from the only video game in the world that i've never been beaten in, galaga:
i repeat, you can not beat me in this game. i can safely say that this game is in no way related to a Last Starfighter-type intergalactic search for capable space pilots, because if it were, i'd be battling for the freedom of the universe with Centauri right now.
if you haven't seen The Last Starfighter, i don't want to know you anymore.
nathan filibustered at 10:35:00 AM
name: ..nathan..
shoes: thin, uncomfortable
sleeping in: queens (the city, not Latifah)
mirror: :rorrim
throws: righty
current crush: young britt eckland
lunch: i'm into brunch now
=audio science=
=LL Robot=
=Hasser Vision=
=Seanbaby=
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